Life's thank you list...

Too often in life I feel like I take for granted those aspects of my life that I value. Over the years my life has been altered for the better by many many individuals and this is a short list of people to whom I am immensely grateful for their contribution to my life. Many of these people probably have no idea how much they have benefited me. Some of them I don't even know particularly well, but they have aided me none the less. I have never met a few of the people listed but I have found so much meaning in their lives that I feel compelled to mention them. Here is a brief and far from exhaustive thank you list for those people who have impacted my life and how their influence has shaped me. (I am omitting family members, simply because I have a relatively large family for whom no amount of praise is enough. My focus here is to thank those who may be unaware of how grateful I am, whereas hopefully my family members know that they are a major source of blessing and inspiration in my life.) So here we go...

Mrs. McBurney and a few other teachers- one of many elementary and junior high school teachers who had endless patience and needed discipline for me. I can clearly hear her say to me "Philip, your actions thunder so loudly that I can not hear what you say." I am thankful that she taught me that it is my actions that tell the world who I am and not the words coming out of my mouth. By extension, she taught me that living my gratitude is not the same as saying that I am grateful. She and several other teachers planted seeds of an ethical/moral/spiritual nature throughout my youth that took many years to grow in the infertile land of my childhood stubbornness. As a teacher in Cambodia now, I can only hope to be a small fraction as effective as these teachers were.

Hanson Carter and family (and an extended cast of characters)- for spending countless hours with me when I was quite lost in the world. Always kind and open they taught me about loving people as they are with little to no expectations placed upon them. They played an instrumental part in removing a lot of the hindrances in my spiritual life. Their actions remind me that there is a big difference between calling myself Buddhist and acting with the love and compassion that the Buddha did. Their faith in Jesus showed me that the label of my faith is not nearly as important as actually living the message of love.

Dr. Micheal Schwartz- for continually pushing me to challenge my assumptions and beliefs. For handing me the hammer that broke down a lot of mental barriers to growth.For teaching the truths that don't always feel good to hear and showing me that it isn't necessary to run from those truths.

Dr. Alan Scarboro- for letting me continually sharpen my small ideas of society through discussion and debate. No matter how many arguments of mine he disproved, I always walked away from classes feeling like I had really learned something bigger.The way he taught social stratification and allowed me to debate it still shapes how I view much of the world around me. The way he presented labor movements and class discrimination reminds me that I am a part of the global community and therefore have an active role to play in challenging the accepted norms of injustice and inequality. I can remember him saying "We don't bring down the pillars of injustice all at once, we chip away at them over time." (paraphrased, because the way he said it sounded cooler)

Leesa,Betsy, Bryan, Henry, Owen, Jeff, Melanie, Kristin, John and countless other friends- for embracing the quirky ideas and beliefs I tend to have and celebrating those aspects of who I am that are often misunderstood. For pushing to improve themselves and encouraging me to do the same. For being themselves unabashedly and (seemingly) unafraid, doing their best to be true to themselves.

Gilbert- for helping me to find my way to where I am now one step at a time. Always willing to tell me the truth no matter how much I disagree. For teaching me to do the hard stuff.

Lama Surya Das, Khen Rinpoche, Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche, Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche, the monks of Wat Santidham, and countless other teachers- for teaching how to be a Buddha rather than a Buddhist. For having a seemingly inexhaustible wealth of wisdom, compassion, love, and equanimity and assuring me that I can too if I do the work.

H.H. the 14th Dalai Lama and H.H. the 17th Karmapa- for being beyond words. You bring peace and hope in the midst of seeming despair. For being selfless in a selfish time.

Corey- for always being able to help me laugh at my mistakes and forgiving my arrogance. Your friendship has made some of my best times better and some of my worst times more bearable. For always being my closest friend no matter what disagreements we may have or being separated by thousands of miles.

Rodney- for teaching me to view spirituality through a different lens that embraces rather than differentiates. For helping me learn that I have not/will not "arrive" or "get there" and stopping is not a real option. For helping clarify my vision enough that even when I try to walk away from it I cannot.

Andy and Patrick- for showing me a picture of myself in many ways. For helping me to believe that I can make a difference and providing me with a reason to continue to put forth an effort.

Malcolm X- after years of teaching racial segregation he had the humility and integrity to say he was wrong in front of a global audience after making the Hajj to Mecca. This teaches me that fighting injustice in the world in a meaningful way requires a deep commitment to honesty, integrity, and humility.

Nameless ex-girlfriends- for allowing me to learn what commitment and partnership is supposed to be about and for having the wisdom to let me know when I was quite obviously missing the point. I am a better man because of your unwillingness to put up with some of my boyish ways.

All the PCV's in Cambodia- for seeing many aspects of life far more clearly than I do and allowing me to benefit from your vision and service.For sharing an experience that would be quite lonely without your friendship.

So many friends and acquaintances over the years- for allowing me to learn through your example and the opportunity to share in your joy and sorrow.

This list is sooooo far from being complete that it is only reflects a fraction of those people to whom I am grateful. If you have taken the time to read this list I owe you a debt of gratitude simply because you have allowed me have a voice. If you didn't read this list, I find a sense of gratitude for reminding me that I am not special or unique; I am one among many.

Another quick poem on consumerism during economic crisis

I have been learning a lot about some of the economic forces at play that caused the housing and economic crisis in America. It has left me with some strong impressions and rather than attempting to put those factors into a long and in-depth format I thought I would just throw out a series of quick thoughts that relate to the economic picture as a whole.

We the People

broken and beaten
the flat screen television set democracy of tomorrow promises less than we have today
but it is convenient and packaged to sell
“ultra” “new” “improved” “20% more”
I don’t want my mtv anymore
corporate giants eat profits and people with a quarterly bonus
rise up and go shop at Walmart, you have the right to savings
it costs nothing but a sixteen hour work day for a 14 year old girl in Indonesia
feeling frustrated, confused, economically dwarfed and downtrodden…
maybe I suffer from class depression
maybe I haven’t had my daily allowance of high fructose corn syrup
no need to hedge those bets on derivatives spawned by these words, most don’t read and those who do say “that’s nice” and continue on… bargain shoppers have no need to consume what comes freely
educated to death, noose like student loans strangle hope
keep telling me that one day I can be president
make the nightmare of nine to five poverty feel like a dream
but don’t wake me, I have to work in the morning
land of the free to choose from the “extra value” meal while texting from my car
this home of the brave has been foreclosed upon
30 days and nowhere to go

A quick poem about gender inequality and the sex industry in Cambodia

Defiled Immaculacy

little sister dancing in the rice paddy
smiles shyly dropping head to shoulder
meeting unknown with curious caution, timid and excited in newness
slowly browning white school shirt symbolizing the possibilities of its owners eyes
in dreams and memories hold tight these moments
these times little sister are who you are and nothing less
dancing in the sun, smiling shyly, you are Immaculate without effort or reason
the gentle nature of your eyes brings peace and love to the troubled hearts and minds of those who know how to see
down the street and around the corner… men raise drunken eyes
haunted by ghosts of hungers and thirsts
looking past the object in western wear and makeup
to the next conquest of violence called love
poisoning meaning by motivation
brother see Immaculacy dancing in the sun and smiling shyly behind the mask of dancing and smiling
behind the mascara, under the dense growth of broken promises and unheard cries lies the peaceful destroyer of hungry ghosts
only in banishing ghosts in the sight of Immaculacy can you begin to free her from the lies of experience